


Pained silence

by KellyDrake6



Series: Merlin [28]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Crying, Gen, Merlin has trust issues, Post-Episode: s04e08 Lamia, Sad Merlin, Worried Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29784306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KellyDrake6/pseuds/KellyDrake6
Summary: Arthur notices that Merlin is much quieter and subdued than usual after he and the knights encountered the Lamia
Relationships: Knights of the Round Table & Merlin (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Merlin [28]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1968685
Kudos: 40





	Pained silence

Arthur noticed the way Merlin's smile faded the second he thought the kings back was turned, as well as how he stopped talking as soon as the knights that he had been with joined them. It was the strangest thing he'd ever seen from the man, hell it was as if merlins usual personality had been ripped from him as there wasn't even any light in his eyes. It wasn't until merlin visibly flinched when gwaine said his name and percival put a hand on his shoulder that arthur began to worry for his friend. 

As soon as Merlin went to gather up their horses so that they could return to camelot, Arthur quickly followed. Only to stop when his friend leaned heavily against a tree and bowed his head, it took all of a few seconds to realise that he was crying and a protectiveness that the king had never felt before made itself known. Without thinking he rushed over and gently placed a hand on his friends shoulder "relax, it's just me" he says softly as he kneels down to make eye contact. He isn't expecting the broken look that he gets back, his hand squeezing merlins shoulder a little harder as he tries to keep his anger at bay "what's got you in such a state?" He asks gently as its only the second time he's seen merlin like this and it honestly breaks his heart. 

Who could have made sweet, caring Merlin like this? The man was the epitomy of optimism and happiness! Merlin lets out a sound heartbreakingly close to a wimper before he shakes his head "i cant tell you" he whispers, closing his eyes so tight that Arthur's afraid he might hurt himself in the process, but that's not his greatest concern it's the fact that merlin thinks he can't tell his closest friend something. Tilting his head up slightly arthur watched as merlin's eyes slowly opened again "you can tell me anything, you know that" he says in a soft but stern tone that gets the smallest smile out of him "but I'll be speaking ill of them, they've made it clear what they think of me" merlin whispers and that sets alarm bells ringing instantly as Arthur's concern grows to a point he's never felt in his life. 

This had something to do with the knights, it had to be "i won't let them do anything to you" he says and they both hear the silent promise in his words, hell he'd throw his gauntlet down and battle every single one of them before he let anything happen to merlin! It took a few seconds before merlin let out a sob "they were so cold, to me and gwen" he starts as he grabs arthurs hand and holds on like its a lifeline, perhaps it is for all the king knows. At this point Arthur had pulled him close, the king was leaning against a tree whilst merlin leaned against him, head hidden in the cloak that arthur was wearing "it was subtle at first, but then they all hated the very sight of me" he continues sadly and arthur pulls him even closer as he watches merlin's resolve start to break as he remembers how his friends had acted towards him. 

He noticed that Gwen had started creeping her way towards them, stopping when she noticed the position they were in and a look of concern overtook the confusion on her face "they said i was nothing but a servant and to know my place, Percival used his size to intimidate me into shutting up" merlin finished before sobs overtook him and he clung to arthur. At this point arthur had practically pulled merlin into his lap, holding him as close as possible "oh merlin" Gwen whispers as she joins them, her eyes welling up with tears at seeing her friend like this. Arthur pulls her into the hug as well, holding the both of them protectivly "elyan was so cold to gwen too, how can one person manage to do that?" Merlin asks in a whisper, reaching out to hold onto gwens hand when he noticed her presence. 

Arthur could only shrug before whispering "thats what a lamia does, turns people against each other so she can steal their life force" at this point merlin looks up at him suprised causing arthur to smile softly and poke his side "what? I listen to gaius too you know" he says, feeling slightly relieved that merlin had started to smile and some light had started returning to his eyes. Its a while before they return to the group but merlin is slightly happier than before, even if he sticks close to gaius or arthurs' side. 

But it isn't long till they are riding back to camelot and he some how ends up riding beside Percival, who appears to be making himself as small as possible "are you alright?" Merlin asks tentatively as he is still rather wary, but he wants to know that the knight isnt in any sort of pain "i am, thank you merlin" he says in a soft tone and a small smile as he looks over with a much kinder look than he's had in days "are you? I fear that we scared and hurt you under the Lamia's influence" he says as now leon, gwaine and elyan had either slown down or sped up to join them. For awhile merlin didn't talk but eventually he plucks up the courage to ask "you don't think of me as just a servant do you?" He saw gwaine flinch whilst leon sharply intakes at just how small and subdued merlin's voice was. 

All four of them shake their heads, looking ashamed of themselves even though it was lamia who had caused them to say it "course not! We love you just the way you are" Gwaine says, looking hesitant before reaching across to pat merlin's arm for a couple of seconds "you're also my best friend" he adds when merlin looks at him with a small smile on his face. As Gwaine fell back slightly Leon took his place, a look of horror still on his face at hearing what merlin had said "never change merlin, i dont think I'd forgive myself if you started acting like an actual servant" there was a snort from the other three knights before Elyan muttered "I'm pretty sure arthur would go insane" which caused the other 4 to chuckle and nod in agreement. 

Its then Percival who looks the most apologetic "im sorry i used my height to corner and silence you" he says as he slowly starts to sit up again, watching merlin's reaction carefully until he's back to full height "i would only ever use my height advantage to protect you" he mumbles as he was the one merlin would hide behind when spooked or when there was a fight that he couldn't protect himself from. It was then they all saw the weariness come back to merlin, as if he had been trying to ignore that part as he only nods before spurring his horse to go faster, until he was between arthur and gwen, who look back at where he had been and send him concerned looks as he seems anxious once more. 

By the time they get back to camelot, no one gets a chance to speak to merlin as he practically dispears and they don't quite know if he'd headed into the castle or somewhere else entirely. Gaius finds him in their chambers, already asleep though not peaceful by any means as he tossed and turned, muttering too quiet for the older man to catch anything. Its the next morning that he learns of every thing, watching as his ward's shoulders drop further and further the more he talks until eventually he stops entirely and shakes his head "what if they think that of me and lamia just brought it out?" He asks, causing gaius' eyebrow to shoot up far quicker than it ever had dispite all the strange things merlin had said in the past "they adore you merlin, never think such things" he says in a kind but stern tone as he watches the man fight something in his mind. 

It takes several weeks before merlin stops flinching at the sound of the 4 knights voices, its leon's voice he grows used to again first, as the man pops into the kings chambers at any time of day for any reason. The day Merlin doesn't react to his voice is a day that the knight doesn't lose his smile, which makes merlin smile at the sight of it. 

The next is Gwaine's as the man some how always finds where merlin is and sits around talking to him, never expecting him to reply as he watches his friend flit about whatever room he's in until eventually merlin says "this is the longest you've been out of a tavern" in a joking tone as gwaine has been so invested on gaining merlins trust again, that he hasn't stepped foot in a tavern "there's things more important than ale" is the response he gets, which promply gets him to check the mans temperature causing them both to laugh at one another. 

Elyan isnt long either, though half of the time neither can find the other but its gwen that all but drags her brother into the room that merlin was in, granted that elyan had looked there already it was just that merlin had been out of sight at the time "hey el!" Merlin says as it had been long enough that he wasn't nervous around the man, hell elyan hasn't even done much to him "merlin!" The man replies happily as he grabs a sword that merlin hadn't sharpend yet and began to help him. They chat about nothing in particular and elyan knows just by how relaxed merlin is that they are alright again, it is a few days later that they start shoving each other around again and acting like brothers once more. 

Percival is the longest, because no matter how many times merlin thinks he's gotten over what happend, all it takes is to see Percival standing at full height or for merlin to try and pass by and it comes rushing back to him again. Its a month and a half later when the taller knights presence stops scaring him enough that he finds a different route around the castle, Percival notices when merlin starts to hang around him for longer periods of time even if he doesn't talk to him. But eventually merlin cracks a joke to him and its then he knows that their friendship is begining to mend once more. 

The day that merlin hangs back with the 4 of them during a hunt, is when they know that all is right between them and the man that had become just as important to them as arthur.


End file.
